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Category Archives: Anxiety
Grossly Over Rated
I have to say, losing my tv signal was grossly overrated. For months, that is all I heard of interest from my tv. I kept hearing how in just a few months, then weeks, then days and finally “its only minutes away!” I was going to lose my tv signal.
From all the hype, I thought it was going to be some event near as big as Jesus coming again. But, it never happened. I did lose the programs normally seen. But the signal is still there. I can watch as much tv as I want. It is just the content that has changed.
It’s 2:14 AM and for hours now, the station has been telling me how to connect my cables and recommending I go spend money to purchase a converter box. So far, I am happy enough with the new programming. It is handy to know how to connect stuff and what tv gadget boxes I should buy.
I think I’ll stick with the new programming and see how things work out. The only shows I miss are the same ones I missed before the programming change. The English comedy went off the air a while back on PBS and I was stuck watching goofed up people on sitcoms doing goofed up things.
Yeah. I’m ok with the new programming. I’ll just probably watch a lot less of it.
James Harrison T-Shirt – What will you pay?
How much will you pay for an authentic James Harrison Superbowl record breaker T-Shirt? I think this shirt may have been worn during the Super Bowl game and James made his record breaking touch down. I think the guy that has this shirt stole it off his back while he was in the shower.
Or possibly you’d like to bid on Aretha’s hat she recently wore at the Oh’Bama inaugeration. She says she’s not sure if she is going to let the Smithsonian Institute have it.
And if nothing else you could always bid on Michael Swim Phelps’s hooka pipe. He says he used bad judgement. Probably thought the pipe was a bad fit for his teeth.

Or possibly my dirty socks.
I don’t know. I guess the Super Bowl brings out the best or worst in me. Sigh…
Which item will bring the best price on ebay?
You do! I would never!

What ever happened to love? Remember the first time you looked in your Love’s eyes and saw the gentleness and peace of returned love. Remember when there was nothing you wouldn’t do for your life mate? Remember the kind words exchanged and that good morning kiss? What happened?
You worked hard to provide for the family. Long hours at your profession or striving to keep the home pulled together while the world pulled it apart. Running, constantly running from one sports event to another. What happened to the love?
Somewhere in the mix of life, faithfulness slipped away. There just wasn’t time for God if you were going to accomplish the things that were admirable and important. Slowly, it became harder to spend time with a Father that was so distant. It wasn’t long before you shoved Him in the back of your thoughts and quit caring.
Do you want your love back? Return to your 1st love and love will return to you.
Do this. Buy the New Testament version of the Bible known as “The Message” and read it straight through cover to cover as fast as you can. Write in the margins everything that comes to your mind.
Read fast. Write fast. Don’t let anything slow you down or prevent you from consuming the Word. Open your body, soul and spirit to God. Somewhere, sometime during the read you will find your 1st love. Love will return to you. It’s that simple.
It only takes a few days to consume a good book. The Message is THE good book. It took me less than 30 days to read it the first time while I worked a full time job. If your marriage has lost its love. Read the book and then read it again. You will find love. Guaranteed. But do you really care?
“Do you think their faithlessness cancels out his faithfulness? Not on your life! Depend on it: God keeps his word even when the whole world is lying through its teeth.” Paul
Will Jesus come today?
First let me clarify. I am referring to God’s son and not ‘Hey Soos’ for all of us in Texas. I’m ok with ‘Hey Soos’ coming today, but probably won’t impact me as much. Now if Jesus shows up today, that will be another thing.
I’m wondering what I will be doing if Jesus shows up. When I see Him and the angelic host in the clouds, will I stop and wait for Windows to shup down? Or possibly, I might get that last swallow of coffee before I step out.
I’ve been thinking. If I really believed Jesus were coming today or relatively soon, what should I do differently. Like, should I leave the keys in the car so “Pick a Lock’ doesn’t have to be called. Maybe, I should go ahead and clean out the fridge of the things that might go bad. I wouldn’t want to leave a mess. Oh yeah, can’t forget the garbage.
More importantly, maybe I should leave my gate open so my dog Spot could get out and have a chance at a freedom of his own. I’ll probably leave a bag of dog food out, but how much is enough? I don’t know. I was just thinking.
What might you do differently if you knew Jesus were coming today?
The Phone Rings
Caller Id is a great invention! When my cell phone rings, I have a special ring assigned to Cora. When I hear her ring, my spirits are immediately uplifted. I know she will be encouraging, engaging and treat me like her hero. I look forward to her special ring. It makes my day!
Other times infrequently, my cell phone will ring and there is no caller ID. I don’t know who the caller is. Sometimes even when I answer, the caller doesn’t
identify who they are. My immediate response this last year would be instant anxiety. It would trigger a slide toward a depressive attitude that required a spiritual battle of sorts to defeat. Really! It took focused deep prayer with begging of God to see me and pull me out of the dread I was experiencing.
God would be faithful and the anxiety would lift. I would acknowledge that God was in control and He would bless me supplying all my needs in an abundant fashion.
Much to my surprise when I received one of those no caller Id calls yesterday, I smiled. There was no anxiety. I thought, “God you are awesome. You have blessed me with peace even before I asked“. It may seem like a small thing, but receiving God’s blessing even before I fell on my face and cried for mercy is huge!
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul”. Psalm 94:19
The Ugly House Story
The year 2007 was the most difficult year of my life and spilled over to became the most difficult year of my bride’s life and the lives of many others. My heart, the very essence of my being was broken. Body and soul teetered on collapse. One in authority commented it was men at my age, in my situation, that many times experienced a physical heart attack or suicide. Kenneth Lay of Enron could testify to this fact if he were alive.
At 54, this was to be my last run for the gold. I was attempting to build a company fast, strong and big enough to take public. I felt like this was my turn. As it turns out, it will be my last run for the gold. God took this incredibly bad experience in business and life to create in me a new person. He established a man in me He would use to perfect His will and purpose in my life and the life of my bride.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28
The real estate industry was HOT! I had just moved from Arlington and left a great paying engineering sales job. My father had passed away in San Antonio. My mother needed help getting through this period of her life and my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren lived in San Antonio. It was time to move and enjoy the family. We arrived in San Antonio healthy and ready to take on the world.
I had been studying to get my real estate license when I discovered the ‘ugly house’ industry. It centered around the concept of finding an ugly house, buying it, fixing it up and then reselling it. I discovered there were hundreds of people like myself in San Antonio and thousands in the US that liked real estate investing and were aggressively pursuing the opportunities. I thought investors at the local level could band together and each contribute their individual talents for the success of the group. Then, everyone could benefit from the relationship and meet their individual investment goals.
Having successfully launched a business earlier that I was honored to present to a Wall Street investment banking company, I believed a new company could have what it would take to launch an IPO. The economic timing seemed right. The industry was aggressively growing. There was plenty of inventory in distressed homes. There was international interest in US real estate and the numbers were big enough to attract Wall Street.
This company quickly grew profitable. It was organized to allow individuals to invest in houses and share in the profits. Participation in the deals was based on the premise that everyone had a certain set of talents and resources they could contribute toward the success of the company. They individually shared in the profits. It was a great time. Many houses were bought and sold. Profitability was eagerly consumed by the investors.
A business model was developed for the purchase of ugly houses that provided plenty of room for what was considered worse case scenerios and still create reasonable profit. Investors would find opportunities in ugly houses and bring them to the company for others to invest in. We rapidly grew and word of our organization spread nationally. Then, we discovered Alamo Heights.
Alamo Heights had plenty of small ugly houses that could be purchased at less than $120 /sf and remodeled to include adding 1,000 sf or more. The increased size produced houses that would appraise upwards of $240 / sf. Everyone was excited to see the profits that could be produced. Investors brought many Alamo Heights homes to the company and pushed to have them purchased. Millions of dollars were invested in these homes at the request of the companies’ investors and stock holders. What we didn’t know was that Alamo Heights was considering how to stop what they called, ‘the mansionizing of Alamo Heights’.
We had just bought a group of Alamo Heights ugly houses when the city council stopped work on all remodeling while it figured out what to do with companies buying small, building big and selling these investment homes. The companies’ remodeling efforts were totally shut down. The rules for building permits seemed to change daily. One person at city hall said one thing and the next person said something else. While all this is going on, the company was servicing a debt of over $50,000 / mo.. It doesn’t take a business scholar to appreciate time was limited.
Ultimately, we filed chapter 11 bankruptcy to protect the company and investors. We wanted to buy the time to get houses remodeled, placed on the market and sold. Unfortunately, in chapter 11 we were unable to borrow money to finish the remodeling of permited houses and completed houses did not sell. The real estate market had begun a downward trend that is even more evident today. This precipitated the collapse of a dream, a company and many investor dollars. You can only imagine the displeasure experienced and expressed by the companies’ investors.
As accusations of impropriety fly….
“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds”. Matt 5:11-12
Mysteries of the faith. Has God taken failure as defined by man and produced fruit in your life?