“3:00 AM and I am awake with more questions than answers..”~priest

I am suppose to be sleeping.  I am not sleeping.  Why is that?I feel depressed.  How can that be? I am a believer.  My God promises to supply all my needs, yet I am up at 3:00 AM feeling depressed.

I suspect many of you are with me in feeling depressed.  Life did not turn out the way you planned.  You did your best, but it seems like your best was not good enough.

My recent adventure with being diagnosed with a possible brain tumor, helped push me over the edge emotionally.  I was already on the edge.  The diagnosis just kicked me in the butt and pushed me over.  I am still tumbling, but I have a plan and it is really quite simple.

I am going to start a new life. I am going to ditch those things that bring negative influences on me and grab hold of those things that bring positive influences.

First things first.  I am going to return to my 1st love: my love for Jesus.  Andrew Murray explains it like this…

“IT IS to you who have heard and hearkened to the call, “Come unto me,” that this new invitation comes, “Abide in me.” The message comes from the same loving Saviour. You doubtless have never repented having come at His call. You experienced that His word was truth; all His promises He fulfilled; He made you partakers of the blessings and the joy of His love. Was not His welcome most hearty, His pardon full and free, His love most sweet and precious? You more than once, at your first coming to Him, had reason to say, “The half was not told me.”

And yet you have had to complain of disappointment: as time went on, your expectations were not realized. The blessings you once enjoyed were lost; the love and joy of your first meeting with your Saviour, instead of deepening, have become faint and feeble. And often you have wondered what the reason could be, that with such a Saviour, so mighty and so loving, your experience of salvation should not have been a fuller one.

The answer is very simple. You wandered from Him. “~Andrew Murray  excerpt from ALL YOU WHO HAVE COME TO HIM

The next thing I am purposed to do is return to my 2nd love: my love for Cora.  Outside of Jesus, she is the most positive influence in my life.  She has incredible wisdom.  She is strong.  She loves me deeply.  She loves Jesus and encourages others with that love daily.  I will be the husband God designed for her with a love that only can come from Jesus.

Closely following my love for Jesus and Cora: I purpose to share in the love of friends and family.  I will encourage them with my love and bask in their love.  I will look for specific ways to bring a smile to their face, but I will choose to smile first.  My love of friends will extend to “the least of these”.
Lastly, I will turn to you and appreciate the friendship of those that read this blog.  You are an encouragement.  You are steadfast friends in times of trouble.  Thank you.
Of special note: Ichabod is a blog friend from Canada.  Ich has experienced much of life just like me.  Life has not always been kind, yet he chooses to be an encourager.  We don’t always agree on Jesus and the things of the faith, yet he encourages me.  I pray I might be an encouragement to him.  I find it interesting despite our differences, he chooses to encourage me.  Thank you, Robert.
So, it is now 4:37 AM and I think I will ponder on these things while drifting back to sleep for an hour or so….
Lest I forget to say: “I will avoid those things that tend to steal my joy.” ~the priest

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It is the desire of my heart that God be Lord of my life. Life’s experiences have killed the old man and God is building a new creation in me. I look forward to experiencing the new man God creates in the old vessel known as Archie via "God Spots".

7 thoughts on ““3:00 AM and I am awake with more questions than answers..”~priest”

  1. Hi Archie;

    Thanks for the kind note. Regardless of differences in the semantics of what we believe or not, what is of primary importance here is we are both brothers with the rest of humanity on this orb we call earth.

    I am there for my brother or sister regardless of race, culture or belief.

    The way I see it, that is the only way we as a species may evolve and become what we are intended to be.

    Using Jesus as an example, he did not care what or who the Samaritan was. The example illustrates one thing in my mind that holds a basic truth. When someone is waylaid by life and is down, someone should extend a hand to help he or she back up, the rest is up to themselves.

    When a person is down or in crisis, such as the people in Haiti, faith may give hope, but their brothers bringing food, water, clothes, medical attention are what gives hope substance.

    Whether the brother bringing the life saving goods is an atheist, Muslim, Christian or agnostic is of no concern to the victim. They are the Samaritans and for the victims, that is all they need for now.

  2. Keep running the race Archie, fixing your eyes on Jesus. Your life is precious and He is faithful to complete what He began in you!
    I appreciate your honesty and perseverance…it, too, is a gift…there is a lot of hope in what you write which helps others that struggle but don’t always share it ‘out loud’…thanks.

  3. Here’s to the first day of a new life. One that has you avoiding those people who steal your joy.
    I wonder if that means you will go the other way when I come around the corner? : )
    I’ll be praying for you!

  4. Hi Archie;

    It don’t matter anymore. Love your wife, family and God and forget the rest.

    Put a smile on your face and the expression and heart will follow.

    The stuff of this world or events really mean nothing. Ignore it.

    Screw it all, be thankful for having had many experiences and knowing love.

    You have today. Enjoy today. Tomorrow will come.

    Meanwhile, sleep well. You’ve made it so long, what makes you think you won’t continue? 🙂

  5. Just remember Jeremiah was a Bull Frog and he was a friend of mine, hum a few bars, if that won’t do it, I don’t know what will 🙂

  6. The line it is drawn,
    The curse it is cast,
    The slow one now
    Will later be fast.
    As the present now
    Will later be past,
    The order is
    Rapidly fadin’.
    And the first one now
    Will later be last,
    For the times they are a-changin’.

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