Depression is a downward spiral leading to…

depression is tough to beat

Depression is characterized as a downward spiral, possibly leading to diminished capacity in all areas of life.  For me depression sneaks in like a thief in the night.    I am good to go most of the time, energetic and full of life, then for some reason my mind begins processing things from a negative perspective.  I don’t know why.  I just know it does.  It seems to me,  negative thoughts are symptomatic of the depressive process and spotting this and other signs of the spiral ‘early on’ is key.

Combating the spiral and impending darkness is tough.  I purposely avoid negative people as our negativity can feed on each other.  I look for the positive in people and circumstances.  I reject the negative and ask for supernatural Godly intervention to kill off the darkness with His light.  Key is identifying the spiral early on and calling on Jesus to straighten my path and mind before the spiral takes on a life of its own, forever sucking me further down into a cesspool of negative thought and action.

It seems to me David of Israel experienced similar cycles as i.  One moment proclaiming the majesty of God the Father and the next crying out for God‘s intervention.   Many times we see David acknowledging the fact that if God does not intervene, catastrophic collapse was inevitable.  You can almost feel David’s spiral downward.  I’d like to think that even in the darkest of times and strongest of spirals, God is waiting to be part of the outcome.  His love is real and incredibly tangible when compared to the darkness.

It may be this is the purpose of a depressive spiral… to appreciate the tangible presence of a Holy God you might miss if it had not been for the whirlwind of a deadly spiral.  Thank you Jesus for abiding even in the darkness.



Jesus had a profoundly ridiculous story to tell, yet i believed.

There once was a man named Nich who was ruler over a nation and was a highly educated man.  He marveled at the miraculous prospect of climbing back inside of his mother’s womb, to be born a second time and thus achieving eternal life.  You and i think his belief system pretty ridiculous.   Why is that?

Could it be… our lack of belief in the ridiculous prevents our ability to believe in the reality of the miraculous.  We look at Nich and think how ridiculous he was to consider climbing back into his mother’s womb, but was he really that ridiculous or could it be his belief in the miraculous of Jesus was so strong that nothing seemed impossible to him if Jesus chose.

Jesus had a profoundly ridiculous story to tell.  He had little time to tell it.  In just a few months, He was tasked by the Father to convince the world He was their Savior.  It was a story filled with love and miracles.  It was His story written by the Father and concluded on the cross.  It was a ridiculous story.  The story was written for you.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”~Jesus

It seems most of the time, God reveals and provides opportunity without warning…


I was in Starbucks minding my own business, when a lady shows up with a couple large empty covered plastic containers.  A Starbucks employee proceeds to give her all the dated pastries for her containers and she hangs around at a table in front me sorting things out.

After a while, i get up to leave and go to work.  I stop in front of her and make comment that i bet she is going to make some people happy. She explains she is from the Saint Assisi or something catholic church and these pastries will go to feed the homeless.  As we are chatting about the local homeless shelter, i am doing a heart check and i think God is saying give her money.  You have to understand there was a time when giving from my excess was not challenging at all.  Today, i give from what i don’t have and i am very aware to give without God’s direction is stupid.

So as she is talking, i am thinking, “God.  Do you want me to give? i am not sure and i want to be responsible with the little i have.”  i am confident this thought was from God.  “Whether you give or not, you will know my will when you walk out the door.”  It reminded me of the times, i heard God and chose to ignore the opportunity to be used by Him.  I get that really sick feeling in my stomach that i just blew it.

Today, i was not going to blow it.  i reached in my pocket and pulled out the exact amount God had impressed on me (without counting).  I handed it to the lady and without a word, began walking out.  She yelled, “What’s your name?”  I wish i had said, “Jesus.”